A.H Riise Royal Danish Navy Rum 40%

A.H. Riise was a Danish pharmacist, known in his time in the mid 1800s for his medicinal rum which he sold to several continents from the former Danish West Indies colonial island of St. Thomas. After his time, a rum brand was grown around his name, and has come to be associated with, well, everything that is wrong with rum. Heavily coloured, diabetes-inducingly backsweetend, and watered down to the lowest legal limit. If you were to believe A.H. Riise’s website, this rum is directly targeted at rum enthusiasts:

This exceptional rum, with its broad spectrum of aromas and subtleties of taste, offers a quite unique experience. It is a rum aimed at experienced rum aficionados.

Sure, ok. I’m sure that’s why you guys put a staggering 92g/L of sugar in it. That’s almost liqueur levels.

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Distiller: Undisclosed
ABV: 40%
Sugar: 92g/L
Age: at most 20 years
Cask type: Undisclosed
Source: Pour at Statsraaden Bar, Bergen, Norway
Setting: Unblind

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Nose: Red licorice, red currant jelly, artificially flavoured berry vodka, rotten banana, cherry cordial. Generally smells artificial. Putrid.
Palate: Sweet. Holy shit is this sweet. “Red” flavouring. This is not rum. This is not rum.
Finish: So cloying as to be almost undrinkable. Artificial and horrible.
Overall: Foul. This is one of the worst spirits I have ever had the displeasure of tasting. It is beyond me that anyone can put this in a bottle and sell it with honest intentions. Taste this if you want to taste just how bad rum can legally be. Then get your money back by telling the bar “there’s something wrong with this”. There’s no way they can disagree with you.
Rank: 1